Sometimes a challenging part of dealing with disrespectful children is realizing that they have friends who are contributing to their problems.
These defiant kids usually don?t see how having friends can have a negative impact upon them.
Part of the adventure of helping these children is making hard decisions, such as when to call it quits with a friend or how to establish healthier boundaries.
Let?s take a look at some common sense guidelines that can help you as a parent steer your disrespectful child into a better place.
- Relationships matter. Really matter.
Friends count. Your child needs to have healthy friendships with a variety of appropriate people.
Read that last sentence again, slowly.
?Your child needs to have healthy friendships with a variety of appropriate people.?
By unpacking this one sentence, we can discover several ideas that will guide both you and your child in the area of relationships.
1) Healthy friendships.
A healthy friendship is one in which there is mutual respect and give-and-take. There is a balance; one person or the other is not doing all the work of the relationship.
A quality friendship between children uses the same idea. One child should not be monopolizing the relationship and making all the decisions, for example. Of course, with kids who are still learning and exploring, you may need to point out where the friendship is out of balance.
2) Variety is good.
We all have friends who make us laugh, offer a shoulder to cry on, hold us accountable when we need it and let us off the hook when we need that, too.
Your child can discover that one friend is great at playing soccer, another is fun watching movies with and still another loves to camp in the backyard.
One size fits all definitely doesn?t work in the arena of a quality friendship.
3) Appropriate is important.
No, eleven year olds don?t go to the mall by themselves with adults they meet online. Some inappropriate relationships are obvious, others are not.
An older teen constantly hanging out with the younger kids is a red flag. As a parent, get involved and find out what?s going on and no, they don?t get to hang out together alone.
Another thing. The chances of your child being the ?good influence? ? all by themselves ? in the drug culture at school is highly unlikely. So don?t be fooled when your child starts spending time with kids who are clearly outside of your family?s values.
Don?t judge on appearance, however. That?s never fair and usually not accurate. If you want your child to make friends with other kids who are working hard in school and are respectful towards themselves and others, don?t base your judgment on what those kids say or how they look but on what they do.
To be honest, quality friendships are work at any age. That?s what makes them so valuable. Taking a long look at the parts of a good friendship and then helping your child to establish healthy, appropriate and balanced relationships is a skill that will last a lifetime.
Disrespectful children often gravitate towards friendships with other disrespectful kids, making life even harder than it needs to be. By focusing on the ingredients of quality friendships and why those parts work together the way they do, a parent can move from nagging to mentoring, which is always a better place to be for all involved.
View the original article here
Source: http://stopbedwettingtoday.info/disrespectful-children-and-their-friends/
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